Motherhood in the information age

Two days before Eli was born, I got my first smartphone. It's an iphone 4 that I was talked into getting instead of the free non-smartphone I was planning to get. I'm sure I was the salesman's dream customer. I thought it would be a good thing to have in case I needed to quickly and easily google for information about childrearing. Four months later, it has probably done more harm than good.

The amount of information available on the internet, in books, and from the mouths of elders is overwhelming to me as a new mom. I have spent countless hours reading, trying to figure out how to do the "right thing" for my child.

Sleeping, milestones, when to introduce the bottle, when NOT to introduce the bottle, tummy time, rashes, eye-contact, early signs of autism, naptime, flat head, poop color and consistency, when to introduce solids, age-appropriate play, age-appropriate toys, how to boost baby's IQ, how to boost baby's self-esteem...and so on...

And much of this information is contradictory. And much of it contradicts what grandmas think should be done. It's enough to make a mom crazy.

New moms (I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for all of us here) try so hard to do what is right for their kids. There is constant second-guessing and self-doubt and not a lot of positive feedback or way-to-gos. It's not like Eli can say to me, "Hey, thanks for ensuring that I got 30 minutes of tummy-time today. I'll be crawling right on time!" And sometimes the people around you can be rough, too.

There is a person close to me (who shall forever remain nameless) who has something negative to say about everything that I do with Eli. If he is wrapped in a blanket, he is too hot. If he's not wearing a hat (INDOORS), he is too cold. If he wants to stretch his legs out and practice standing, he's going to be bow-legged. His bedtime is too late. He got a cold because I took him out of the house. If I take him out in public, he will get the flu. I shouldn't be going back to work. I hold him too much. This person constantly tells me about "bad" moms and moms who don't bond with their babies.

A few weeks ago, I went to Walmart with Eli. A stranger stopped us to ask how old he was. I told her, and she said, "Well, he looks very happy and loved, and you look fantastic!" It made me feel so much better.

I say all that to say this: if you know a new mom or if you see one in public, give her a compliment if you can. It can make all the difference in the world for her confidence - and she needs that.

And tell her to put away the smartphone. :)